“Am I committed to being right, or am I committed to feeling good, or am I committed to growing?”
— Guru Singh
In previous years I admit to setting several resolutions at the start of a new year, such as:
- Lose 10 lbs. (and keep it off!)
- Talk less, actively listen more
- Improve posture by standing while working
- Meditate daily for 30 minutes.
My new year’s resolutions reflected what I thought to be a commitment to personal growth. Yet after reading the following paragraph written by one of my teachers, I realize that I was only committed to personal growth in theory.
“To be consistently growing in the midst of life’s changes, charges and challenges, we must constantly check with ourselves: ‘Am I committed to being right, or am I committed to feeling good, or am I committed to growing?’ Then remember, growth does not always feel good, and feeling good does not always provide growth and neither one is going to be considered ‘right’ by the rest.” – Guru Singh
This statement triggered a big realization: for most of my life I’ve been committed to feeling good. If I broke a resolution or didn’t make the progress I was hoping for, I would rationalize myself out of it and ‘feel good’. Sound familiar?
“They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.”
Recently I articulated to a friend that my biggest fear about launching Conscious Good wasn’t the hard-work, the mental and emotional stamina required, or asking people for money – as goes with the launch of most start-ups – but the fact that I was launching a platform to help people live healthier and more consciously. Which meant I had to live more consciously and make healthier choices…consistently and all the time. My biggest fear was that I was not up to the role and might be judged as not being worthy of being a “conscious spokes-person”.
With full disclosure, here are a few areas where I struggle:
- Diet – Like my Dad, I have a sugar addiction. Like my Mom, I am anemic (and eat beef on occasion). I’m not the conscious vegetarian that I aspire to be. And unlike my parents, on challenging days I like to relax with a beer or a glass of wine.
- Critical Thinking – Especially self-criticism. I’m a Virgo so it’s just TOO easy for me to go there.
- Negative Media – When I get stressed, I welcome the distraction of sensationalistic stories. I go down that rabbit role and keep going down, down with my optimism and hope and motivation. And up goes my stress and anxiety. I struggle to find a balance between being an informed, engaged citizen of the world and recognizing that most of the news is a distraction.
- My Practice – Lately I seem to be doing the “bare minimum”. Sort of like, “I brush my teeth but I can’t seem to find the time to floss.”
I always thought I was committed to a path of personal growth but now realize I avoided any significant growing pains. I would maintain a daily yoga/meditation practice, read the latest self-help books, watch all the “good” videos, and listen to the “good” podcasts, but only for as long as it all felt good. I’d stop meditating once my feet fell asleep. I’d only read the feel-good self-help books, not the ones that required digging deeper. This is also true for my inter-personal relationships. How often have I avoided a confrontation that would have been uncomfortable, yet surely strengthened the relationship? Nope, my commitment to feeling good won out more often than not.
This past year there were a number of times when my previous “tricks” for making myself feel better or feel good, were not accessible: drinks with friends, a shopping spree, or planning a vacation. I couldn’t afford a big distraction – physically or financially. I had to live through the discomfort, feel the pain.
I launched Conscious Good because I wanted to learn of ALL of the tools available to improve my health and happiness. I wanted help to find authentic inspiration. I wanted to be entertained with quality programming that would enhance my practice and my commitment to personal growth. Launching Conscious Good has been a tremendous experience because it has created many opportunities to embrace personal “growing pains”. I’ve discovered a new form of self-love: amazement at my untapped strength and courage.
If like me, you struggle daily to make conscious choices and remain committed to personal growth, then Conscious Good is your place.
For 2018, my resolution is to stay committed to growth, acknowledge that growth doesn’t come without some discomfort, live through the discomfort and love myself all the while.
Will you join me?
Please write me at [email protected]. Together, as a community, we can support each other through those times of discomfort and get back to love, true self-love.
While you’re focusing on personal growth, you won’t want to miss the conscious film ‘I AM’ by the talented and compassionate filmmaker Tom Shadyac. If there is one inspirational and motivational film you watch this year, it should be this one. ‘I AM’ is the absolute best film for inspiring you to ‘be the change.’
So, be good to yourself and watch ‘I AM.’
If you have a feature film or would like to recommend a feature film to showcase in Conscious Good’s Movie of the Month program, please email us at [email protected].